Repentance

In the first gospel, it was the first word Jesus spoke as He began His public ministry: "Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” (Matthew 4:17). It's the very first step by which the unrighteous and unholy (ourselves) must approach Him Who IS Righteousness and Holiness: and a continual requirement of a continuing relationship with Him. But how do we get there ?

Meditating on that question, there seem two requirements. I'm not sure of their order, or ranking: or if they should be ordered or ranked. Indeed, the two work so closely together I'm not sure they're separate things at all, except for convenience in talking about them. In themselves, they seem more like intertwined aspects of one reality.

Honesty with ourself, about our self, seems crucial: how else can we unrighteous and unholy ever perceive, much less admit, that's what we are ? But, apart from Sovereign grace, how can malefactors such as we are even conceive a measure perfect enough to gauge our own depravity ?

Yet we do. C. S. Lewis points out in opening Mere Christianity that we all behave as if we believe there's a universally-recognized moral standard: we appeal to it, as if certain everyone knows the rules, when we are wronged by someone flouting it. And more to the point, we go to elaborate lengths to justify our own shabby behavior in terms of that standard: arguing that we did not really transgress its rules because (insert excuse here).

Unrighteous and unholy as we are, we yet seem to believe there is a "right" and "wrong," which others (at least in their dealings with us) should adhere to. Our choice for honesty comes in how we personally relate to that moral standard we believe incumbent on all...do we believe it incumbent on ourself ? If we except our self from its authority, we lie to ourselves that we acknowledge its absolute force. Honesty with ourselves begins in acknowledging that we are limited beings: and limited first as subject to a standard of righteousness independent of our own desires and purposes.

If we are not thus honest with ourself about our self, how honest can we be with God ? The only possible honesty to God is acknowledging we are NOT God. If we hold ourselves only to a standard whose highest "good" is our self, how truly do we acknowledge One more righteous and holy than ourself: or how honestly desire His forgiveness, if we're satisfied with our own ? The dishonest heart's repentance and forgiveness are hollow; a lie; self-deceiving religious form; hypocrisy. Only fierce honesty can repent as God requires, in spirit and in truth.

Repentance also requires (in the wonderful title of Derek Prince' seminal teaching) agreeing with God. First, that HE IS GOD: that His rule and His law (present in attenuated form in Lewis' "universally-recognized moral code") are infinitely more righteous than our own. In the same honesty, our heart must agree with God's that we have transgressed against His righteousness, rule and law: no excuses. Repentance.

If we agree with God that He IS The King and The Authority, honesty must acknowledge Him as the One against Whom we transgress. If we agree, as He says, that He is the Judge, honesty must recognize His right to condemn and His power to punish. Unless we agree honestly with God that "I AM" is Sovereign- and True-Alone GOD as He says, our repentance is empty: and worse than empty, it is the stench of fleshly self in His nostrils.

With any honest heart which agrees in Him, God is pleased: His pleasure, the highest honor granted by The King. And to any who thus pleases Him, He is pleased to give more of HIMSELF: His mercy-to-forgive, His Fatherly care...even adoption as His sons. To honest hearts, He grants the greatest desire to which man can aspire: God's Own PRESENCE, now and forever.

All praise to HIM Who IS all in all. Amen.